I Was A Mullah

By Rehmat Ullah from Pakistan

At Rehmat's birth his mother held her head high; she had given birth to a male child. He was born into a family of Pathans - a faithful and devout Islamic people who would prefer to die rather than to betray their faith and tradition. Rehmat was given to Allah's service while still a child and was later sent to Madrasa, a Qur'anic school. By the time he was eight he had read the whole of the Qur'an and, by the age of fifteen, he knew it by heart in Arabic. Yet he did not understand what it meant because his native tongue was Pushtu. "The Qur'an is learnt by heart in Arabic, the holy language of Allah", says Rehmat. "Becoming a 'Hafiz' (reciter) of the Qur'an is highly valued in my culture. There is a belief among some Muslims, including my family, that if a man learns the Qur'an by heart, seven generations of that man are pardoned by Allah."

Rehmat furthered his studies of the Qur'an and the Hadith at the esteemed Jama Ashrafia Institution in Lahore, Pakistan, and after completing his studies was appointed an Imam (Muslim priest) in Bahawalpur, Pakistan. His reputation soon spread. People from nearby villages started coming to him for 'Tawizes' (charms).

"In many ways life seemed all right, yet at the same time I felt a sort of emptiness and all my ritual prayers and chanting of the Qur'an gave me no satisfaction. There was something missing," recalls Rehmat.

Then the unthinkable happened. He began to question some of the fundamentals of the Islamic faith. For instance, how can a man please his Maker by doing good works? Rehmat had a strong feeling that he would never be able to do enough good to balance out his sins. Even his role as a Mullah seemed insufficient to satisfy God.

"The Tawizes I wrote for innocent people are such a deception, that only one who is involved in that business would know what I am talking about. I knew I was deceiving God and people", says Rehmat.

One day, conversing with a stranger while waiting for a train, he discovered the man was a follower of Jesus. He was reading the Bible. Questions flew back and forth as the discussion developed into a fierce argument. It became so involved that they agreed to miss the train, go inside and continue their conversation in the restaurant. When the food came, the man asked Rehmat if he minded a blessing being said for the food.

"During his prayer he really prayed from his heart and said, 'Lord, please help all those who are in any kind of need, regardless of their clan or creed'. This prayer stunned me, as a Muslim. What a difference! I used to curse those who followed Jesus and here was this man who blessed even his enemies."

When they parted, the stranger gave Rehmat his Bible. Back at home he read it for hours, but the differences between the Bible and the Qur'an confused him. He thought much upon deep spiritual matters daily. During this period of mental conflict, Rehmat travelled abroad to visit some of the holy places of Islam. Sadly, he returned to his country feeling as empty as when he had left. Totally disillusioned he tragically concluded that God did not even exist. He gave up his Imam's post, which he had held for 18 years - and he stopped praying.

His renunciation of God brought him no peace either! Emptiness and despair dogged his footsteps. Finally Rehmat locked himself in his room, taking the Bible and the Qur'an with him. He felt he should give God another chance. "I am neither a Muslim nor a follower of Jesus, but I believe there is only one true God," Rehmat prayed. "If you are really there, then please show me the right path or else take back the breath you have given me."

He read both books in earnest. He read, wept and prayed. After some time he fell asleep and began to dream. In fact he had several vivid dreams about matters of life and death and the person of Christ over the next 48 hours. When he awoke he kneeled down and for the first time in his life he prayed in the name of Jesus. He now earnestly desired a new life in Christ.

He went to see a Christian preacher who loved the Lord Jesus and asked for his help. The preacher explained to him more about the gospel of Christ. Through repentance towards God and trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ who died on the cross for his sins, Rehmat had his guilt removed. He believed in his heart that Christ the Lord rose again from the dead. He was saved! Rehmat received the righteousness of God that guarantees access to His eternal presence. He did not earn this free gift by his own goodness or charitable deeds; he freely received it from the risen Christ. Rehmat is clear about the change that Christ has performed in him and he has an assurance of eternal salvation and the forgiveness of his sins that he never found in Islam, even as a Mullah.

Soon he was baptised and given a new name, Rehmat Paul. "When I arrived back home, the news of my baptism had already reached my family. When they asked me about it and I would not deny my faith, I was severely beaten by my family members. I was thrown out and rejected. Life sometimes seems painful, but I am not worried about the loss for I have peace with God and I know what my destiny is."

The Bible says, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us" (Romans 8:35-37).